Margaret Beckett - an unmissable target?
The Government today announced a major overhaul to the system of targets by which it assesses its performance.
In future, targets will be set only once results are known.
"Retrospective targeting is clearly the way to go," said Environment Secretary Margaret Beckett, speaking about a possible post-Kyoto treaty.
She continued, "It means we will never suffer embarrassing failures - and we'll get to sucker the public into thinking we're doing a good job."
She dismissed with a disdainful whinny those who believe targets should be a way of forcing the government to make good its promises.
"Typical ne'er-do-wells living in cloud cuckoo land," she neighed, "I'm afraid they're all over the place."
A set of retrospective target targets was also part of the new thinking.
"We are naturally unable to tell anyone what our target targets will be until we have fulfilled them," snorted Beckett, "But I think people will be very impressed."
