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US DECLARES WAR ON SUFFIXES IN IRAQ from Wretch 1438 days old

One of the top Saddamists The United States Government today unveiled details of its new strategy in Iraq. A senior Pentagon official said, "Following ...

SADDAM TRIAL PUT ON HOLD IN TOOTHPICK FIASCO from Wretch 1439 days old

Toothpicks: not mentioned in the Geneva Convention The trial of Saddam Hussein was today suspended after just three minutes while court officials tried ...

GLITTER WINS COVETED PRIZE from Wretch 1446 days old

Gary Glitter: "a faultless performance" At the International Paedophile Award Ceremonies (IPAC) held yesterday in Bangkok, Gary Glitter was honoured ...

CLASS ACT from Wretch 1449 days old

Wimple with his trophy Congratulations to Mr Gareth Wimple of East Finchley High (pictured above) for his historic third consecutive victory in the ...

LEAKED MEMO TORTURE SCANDAL from Wretch 1451 days old

Internal memo Two British Foreign Office employees are tonight being flown to Falluja to be tortured, after leaking a controversial memo describing ...

ARCH-GAY WILLIAMS COMES UNDER FIRE from Wretch 1451 days old

Williams: "woofing around" Anglican leaders from around the world have written an open letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury, accusing him of bringing ...

MY CABINET IS NOT ELITIST, SAYS BLAIR from Wretch 1451 days old

Prescott: mixed ability The Prime Minister Tony Blair has fiercely denied claims that the Cabinet is an elitist institution, with members selected ...

STROKE ONE IN THE PENSIONS BATTLE from Wretch 1451 days old

MUCUS, the biggest Public Sector Union The government today unveiled radical new plans which it hopes will solve the growing pensions crisis in the ...

NICE WORK, DAVID! from Wretch 1451 days old

Oooh, lovely! Rt Hon Guy Nice MP (aka David Cameron) was recently snapped by several passing photographers of national newspapers as he voluntarily ...

FOXY CHICK ON WHITBREAD SHORTLIST from Wretch 1452 days old

Nigella Lawson but fruitier Rachel Zadok (pictured above) was today nominated for the prestigious £25,000 Whitbread Book Awards for her first novel ...