satire

NHS TO TREAT ONLY IMMORTALS from Wretch 1429 days old

Best: "will live forever" Following a review of the long-term cost-effectiveness of medical intervention, Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt today announced ...

JUDGE IN SADDAM TRIAL MAY HAVE GONE TO HELL from Wretch 1431 days old

Saddam: "bewitching" Judge Rizgar Amin, who was yesterday ordered to "go to hell" by former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, today failed to show up ...

COMPASSIONATE CAMERON OFFERS DAVIS EVERYTHING from Wretch 1431 days old

Cameron: "compassionate" David Cameron yesterday made what he described as the "ultimate sacrifice", offering his own wife to defeated leadership rival ...

BROWN STICKS RHETORICAL FIREWORKS UP CRITICS' ARSES from Wretch 1433 days old

Gordon Brown: "swashbuckling" The Chancellor Gordon Brown today admitted that the economy is growing at a slower rate than the Treasury had predicted, ...

GIRLS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO PROPOSE, SAYS CHARLES from Wretch 1433 days old

Charles: always thinking of lesbians Journalists gathered outside the Prince of Wales' country residence at Highgrove were today treated to an astonishing ...

TARGET TARGETS TARGETED from Wretch 1437 days old

Margaret Beckett - an unmissable target? The Government today announced a major overhaul to the system of targets by which it assesses its performance. In ...

WORDS ARE MADE OF LETTERS, INSISTS GOVERNMENT from Wretch 1437 days old

Ruth Kelly arguing against a cheese-based alphabet The Government today revealed radical new plans to teach children that words are made of letters, ...

WOMEN SHOULD PAY MEN FOR SEX TOO, CLAIMS ORGANISATION from Wretch 1437 days old

This marriage ended in litigation A recent report showing that forty-four times as many men as women pay for sex has prompted varying responses from ...

US DECLARES WAR ON SUFFIXES IN IRAQ from Wretch 1438 days old

One of the top Saddamists The United States Government today unveiled details of its new strategy in Iraq. A senior Pentagon official said, "Following ...

SADDAM TRIAL PUT ON HOLD IN TOOTHPICK FIASCO from Wretch 1439 days old

Toothpicks: not mentioned in the Geneva Convention The trial of Saddam Hussein was today suspended after just three minutes while court officials tried ...