satirical

24-HOUR DEBATING LEGISLATION PASSED from Wretch 1457 days old

Debating: a serious problem The Tories have failed to block legislation aimed at liberalising the country's debating laws. From next week, debating ...

DON'T OPEN DOOR TO FREEDOM, BUSH TELLS CHINESE from Wretch 1457 days old

Door to Freedom On the opening day of a high-profile diplomatic tour of Asia, George Bush urged the Chinese Government "not to make the same mistake ...

ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS! from Wretch 1457 days old

Due to the large number of pigeons in the station precincts, Paddington has been designated an area at VERY HIGH RISK of Avian Flu Infection. We therefore ...

THEOLOGICAL DISPUTE from Wretch 1458 days old

Islam: is it violent? The famous scholar of the East, Confucius De la Billiere, is once again at the centre of a storm of controversy. The cause this ...

FRERE JACQUES TELLS RIOTERS, "NE DORMEZ VOUS PAS!" from Wretch 1458 days old

"Je ne regrette rien!" President Chirac has implemented a controversial new strategy for quelling the violence sweeping through France. His government ...

MY SELFISHNESS CURED ME, SAYS "MIRACLE" STIMPSON from Wretch 1458 days old

HIV: selfishness gets rid of it Andrew Stimpson, who was diagnosed HIV positive in 2003, but was subsequently found to have rid his body of the virus, ...

IRAQ UPDATE from Wretch 1459 days old

Figures released today by the Iraqi Office of National Statistics show that Iraqis are the only people in the world LESS likely to be killed crossing ...

OLD WIVES' TALES ALL OF THEM from Wretch 1459 days old

Old Wives: well-informed A group of social scientists at Sheppington Hogwash University today claimed to have discovered that old wives rarely, if ...

READERS, BE WARMED! from Wretch 1459 days old

Abigail: heart-warming Every day for the coming week NMH will print at least one HEART-WARMING STORY in a bid to fill you with HOPE ...

GOVERNMENT SELF-DIAGNOSIS LEAFLET from Wretch 1462 days old